We need three elements. The three are not calendars, schedules, or to do lists. And they are not mere platitudes either.
Most advice for planning your life is really advice about arranging your calendar. It usually starts with identifying and setting your goals. Then developing your habits to construct productivity systems. And finally, making a five-year plan. All of these are useful but none of them answer the foundational question: What are you planning toward? Whose terms are you following?
I’ve discovered three basic elements form the real work of shaping a life. First, there is critical thinking. Second, there is a clear focus. And finally, there is a genuine desire for God’s will. These are not interchangeable, and neither of them substitutes for either of the other two. Each element guards against a specific way the others can go wrong.
Critical Thinking: Examining the Life You Inherited
Nobody starts from a blank slate. Without examination, your life will run on inherited assumptions. Things like what your family believes and expects, what you were taught in school, what you absorbed from culture, what feels safest at any given time, and what your peers think.
By the time you’ve begun to think about and examine your life, you’re already adopted a thousand assumptions about what a good life should look like. And most of them came from whatever succeeded or failed around you as you grew up. Most of those assumptions were deposited in you, never chosen by you.
Critical thinking is the discipline of reviewing all the criteria that have formed who you are and why. We aren’t talking cynicism, or a constant analyzing until you’re paralyzed by inaction. Rather, it entails intentional, honest questions for specific decisions at the right time.
- Why do I actually live this life, instead of simply executing the same old routines?
- What is quietly steering my life behind the scenes? Do I want to continue it or change it?
- What would have to be true for me to change my mind here?
You can skip this step if you choose. If you do, however, you will build your entire life on a foundation someone else chose for you. And perhaps it will be successful. It just won’t be the life you chose.
I remember the year I finally decided to embark on a path I wanted, a road I’d take for myself. I decided I would choose for myself and not be bound to the whims of others. I made a clear choice to make my life into something different than how I had been raised, not necessarily wealthy but certainly not poverty-stricken either. No one seemed to think I wouldn’t “amount to much.” I was just a poor, ignorant, never-gonna-be-nothing boy. Now my parents were fine, hard-working, Christian people. They weren’t well-educated but they made sure I was. And I decided I would adopt their beliefs and values because their teaching and training had stood me in good stead. It wasn’t because I didn’t appreciate my parental guidance. It was because I did, but I wanted to steer my own ship, not be a slave to a life decided by someone else. And of course, some of my choices were not good ones. I had to constantly re-examine and adjust as I learned what I truly wanted my life to be.
You see, here’s the challenge: at the end of my life, I want to be satisfied that the life I have lived is the life I have chosen. I do not want to end my life regretting an existence inherited from others. So deciding for myself made all the difference in the world. And I’m glad I didn’t wait thirty plus years to choose. But the road I took has decided my life.
Now if you have waited for years, it is not too late to decide for yourself. You can still build a life on the foundation you choose. Just choose well. Build well. The destiny is well worth your travel.
The Discipline of Focus
A clear focus turns examined values into an actual life. Focus directs us away from chasing “all the possibilities.” You see, if critical thinking is not controlled, all you’ll do is run in complicated circles of multiple options. Too much to consider, never deciding a road to take.
Focus, on the other hand, examines, chooses, and decides. Focus enables you to look at everything you can plausibly do. And decide “here is what I will do.” It also enables you to choose what you are willing to let go in order to excel at what you do.
In his Epistle to the Philippians. Apostle Paul reveals the correct focus. “One thing I do. I forget (let go) what is behind me (my past) and I press (put all my effort) toward the prize (my goal) the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14).
Your potential is not the real problem. Your education or the lack thereof is not the problem. Your culture, raising, environment or economic status are not the problems. Your focus is the issue. Can you say yes to what you want to do? Can you close the doors to what you don’t want to do? If you leave the door of multiple options open, then your life will never develop into what you are here for.
For years I chased every option that looked profitable to me. I was more about get-rich schemes than about living a dream life. And I thought simply making a list was sufficient. It wasn’t. It just soothed my failure to commit to a single road of achievement. Finally, I committed. Either I would be a businessman or I would be a pastor. And I wanted to be both, but I am not wired to pursue multiple goals simultaneously. So I set up a method to identify which of the two was the single road for me to follow. I set a date to decide. And I told significant people which road I was going to follow. A surprising thing occurred. Peace settled over me. I was relieved not to be in the valley of indecision any longer. I was proud of myself and the choice I had made.
The Environment of God’s Will
When we ask the questions: What am I here for? What is my purpose in life? We move into a realm of fulfillment, that satisfaction of knowing we are doing what we are supposed to be doing. And it becomes an exciting existence.
This is not merely another data point to be considered. I have listed it last here, but it may need to be the first question to be examined. And the answers to the above questions will move us considerably closer to properly planning our lives.
The proposition that the Creator has created me with a specific purpose in mind changes the color of things. Now the issue is not ‘what do I want to do’ but what does He want me to do? It functions more like the environment of life and what is my function in it. It pushes me to look beyond self-desire and pure rational thinking. It challenges me to surrender myself to something larger than me. To understand that I am a part of a greater plan than I can imagine. To recognize that the Creator has chosen me to participate in achieving His plan and purpose.
If all I do is focus and think critically. I’ll pursue human sufficiency, human rationale, and human pride. I’ll become a human robot chasing data, analyzing metrics, accumulating toys, and boasting of results. I suggest that such a life might be rewarding at first, but will ultimately be empty and lack real fulfilling substance. But seeking God’s will is an admission that I am not the captain of my ship or the author of my story. Instead. I am a useful and faithful character in the life He has designed and inspired.
I have discovered that life is not a straight line. Rather, it is a road of crooks, s-curves, stops and starts, hills and valleys, and a cliff or two. In the Old Testament Proverbs, Solomon said, “the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the spirit. Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established. The LORD has made ever thing for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble” (Proverbs 16:2-4 ESV). Now, that is some heavy thinking, I’ll grant you. Consider it carefully. Then in verse 9, “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps (EST).
This understanding helped me to think strongly. It made me focus with awareness. And it helped me to plan loosely, with God’s direction in mind. This mindset has enabled me to go with the flow and not lose my focus. It keeps me moving in the right direction despite circumstances.
Knowing God’s will keeps focus from being obstinate and unbending. Focus keeps critical thinking from turning into permanent, immovable rules. Critical thinking continually asks whether the idea of God’s will is only comforting religiosity or authentic discernment. And the three together enable us to know that we are not in control, even of the life we are planning. Neither of the three is the sole authority, but together they empower real wisdom in the life we live.